Etape du Tour – (cr)Act 2

Hullo faithful friends, now that i'm able to lift a finger to the keyboard without fear of collapsing, i can convey some sincere thanks for your support and generosity over the last week. we've managed to raise almost £1,000 for Plan and their work in Kwapa, Uganda, in a very short time.  i've been incredibly touched by your show of collective munificence, so thank you again. the ride itself was epic: nearly ten hours in (or around) the saddle, four and half of those climbing, and almost the same amount of time under rain.  the descents were slick, exhilarating and, once the fingers began to fail from the cold, more than a little worrying.  but what an amazing feeling, plummteting out of the clouds alongside a select group of lycra-clad nut-cases (proving there's still some truth in the old proverb about shit and hills). i managed to place respectably (1476 out of 4696 starters) from a position fairly far back in the pack (i was a little too honest when answering the questions about previous experience).  When i commented to Tash that next time i would do whatever it took to start near the front, i was met with a gaze of such withering intensity that i quickly realized i'm not likely to be hitting anyone up for funds again, any time soon. so, there's some further evidence, if you can be arsed, in the shape of:   photos route and stats videos   you'll be pleased to know, none of these show me in a particularly flattering light. with thanks and salutations.   jay p.s. tomorrow (Wednesday's) stage of the Tour will follow our exact route -- Pau to Bagneres-de-Luchon.  it would be nice to see the views on telly that were hidden by clouds on the day, but, if i'm honest,  i'd probably rather the pro's got served a heaping plate of rain and suffering.  is that so wrong?…

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some small news….

for those few of you out there who don't read The Wife's Blog, here's a wee update: due in February. Gender unknown. Siblings would have rather gone to Disney Land. And, as my Dad pointed out, there goes Freedom Fifty-five. All that aside, the results of the scan show there's a healthy little person in there who, we hope, will bring a nice triangulate effect to the current head-to-head action going on in my house. And we're over the moon. I've opened an account at the Bank of Sleep and plan on making some deposits. happy Wednesday all.

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Sludgestonbury 2011

Hard to believe, but that most anticipated of weekends has come and gone quicker than a whiff of distant toilets. It was a bit of an odd one for several reasons: weather - all four seasons rolled into one weekend that seemed to just keep rolling an all-media blackout come Sunday: worked the SLR, which died, and then the phone, which also died. but there was a lot of output from those first few days. namely: 200-odd photos some videos (some of which may get cut down any minute by the copyright bot on Utube) we met an owl mud in quantities not seen since the Somme despite yelling his name repeatedly, we never found Dan (or Darragh, for that matter) our neighbours packed up at daybreak on Sunday, citing a 'Bad Glastonbury' (we weren't brave enough to ask if we contributed to the Badness, but, to our credit, we discussed how we could fix it for them for hours after they left). [Team, you know who you are, and you know there are more: feel free to contribute your own bits of oddness in the comments.....]   highlights, to name a few: Queens of the Stone Age - thanks to David, and his very generous back stage pass, i managed to sneak up alongside the Other stage and watch the entire gig from beside the smoke machines, about 20m to the right of the band. it was an up close display of some incredible guitar-based jousting, and probably the musical highlight of many a Glastonbury for me (a fact cemented by a chance run in with Josh as he came offstage, a quick shake of his massive, calloused, ginger hand and some effusive compliments from me) Absynth: the twister of many a face, stomach and, i'm sad to say, morning Fuck Off: it became the watchword(s) of the weekend, for which we discovered many interesting uses (including some that…

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Days of Blunder: 3 & 4

Day 3 - Port St Lucie => Pompano Beach Jupiter – Macdonalds I keep passing the same strange looking dude.  He's wearing floods, carrying a bible in one hand and a jerrycan in the other, and i've seen him three different times at intervals of ten miles or more. He’s always walking slowly on the same side of the road, at least half a foot of bare leg sticking out below his jeans, lurching along, impervious to the roar and stink of the traffic.   How does he keep overtaking me? It's either hitchhiking or armageddon. If it's the former, i have to ask:  who the hell would pick up someone looking as crazy as that? Now I'm eavesdropping on a hilarious conversation between a bunch of old people having their usual MacDonalds chinwag. One old codger, dyed hair, and insistent voice – identified by several around the table as a lawyer, and fairly obviously so – keeps saying to one them ‘You’re interrupting. You’re interrupting. You’re interrupting.’ Until the poor guy he was browbeating (a reverend, from what I can gather) finally subsides into silence. ‘Now let that be the last time you interrupt. Because I’m trying to help you here. I’m trying to help you not make a fool of yourself. Get possession of the facts before you open your mouth. Then you won’t make a fool of yourself. And no one wants to see that, because we all love you Reverend.” Talk about sweetening the poisonous barb! The same asshole has just walked out making a fist and urging everyone to ‘seize the moment.’ Thankfully, nobody seems as perturbed by this display of Sheenishness as me. In fact, they seem kind of inspired by it, since they've now moved on to Charlie himself. ‘One of those girls looks like a porno star!’  ‘She can’t be older than eighteen’. ‘He’s a confirmed dope addict.’  In the absence of the…

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Day 2- Siwash at Port St. Lucie

After spending a grey and wet day trying to put some miles on without getting soaked, a sizeable nail through the back tire put an end to my 100-mile ambitions at around six pm. it was getting dark, and i hadn't passed a seedy motel in ages. Best Westerns and Holiday Inns there were aplenty, but sadly it looked like I was about to venture beyond the land of the thirty dollar special, with only Albert and Brigette to show for it. After patching my the tire and getting back on the Publix-IHOP-Walgreens-Burger King-Marathon-7/11-CVS conveyor belt, i started to wonder just where i would spend the night. i was loathe to part with 100 bucks to sleep in a sterile box with cable. i did have another option. despite coming under fire from various parties, i've been toting a hammock under the vaguely delusional notion that i might be able to do some camping, save some readies, etc (after all, I am unemployed and with few prospects). ever since a rather soggy conversation in India with Uncle Howard about the merits of a Hennessey Hammock, getting one has felt a little bit like destiny. i mean, the thing weighs 1.1 kilos and you don't need any tent pegs. how cool is that? sadly, it's been looking rather like i wasn't going to get the chance to use it. Most of the trees in Florida seem to have been cut down to make room for RV parks, and most of the RV parks don't seem to have anything else you can tie a hammock to. it's strictly back in, and hook up, open a Busch and say hello to the neighbors. This has been double disappointing, since i vowed to recoup the cost of the damn thing through savings on h/motel rooms. using campgrounds, that would take eighteen nights assuming a cost of $20 per night. with the but only 4…

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